Monday, April 13, 2015
Friday, March 6, 2015
Here I am, walking on a deserted boulevard.
My mind is trying hard to eradicate something.
Something that has happened again, it’s absurd.
I look around; there are empty houses, empty road, lifeless objects.
I’m pressing my skull tightly, the thing is spreading all over.
Ah! Please get out of my mind, I cannot hold you.
The trees are still but the leaves are swaying.
I’m getting unconscious, I’m losing my rigidity.
‘Hey, what happened? You look weak.’, says she.
How come she is here? How did she find me?
‘I’m all right, please go away.’ I say.
I want her to vanish, in a blitz.
She is confused, her face shows it.
Why does not she leave me alone?
But I cannot move my eyes off her clawless face.
She is so innocent, and I’m treating her like a bad spirit.
I want her to stop staring at me.
I don’t want her care, her love.
‘Cause I fear that I will break again;
This time in so many pieces that can never resurrect.
She is unaware of my tragic past.
That past haunts me till now.
How could I ever think of letting someone in again?
I could I fall for her, fall in love again?
My head is paining severely and my heart hurts, too.
She is all over me now, I’m totally unconscious.
I know this is a bad dream, but reality is no good.
I want her to get out of my veins, my head, my heart.
She is still standing there, reading to give her love.
‘Please get out from here, just get lost!’, I say.
What! No! Don’t let those sparkling drops fall.
Just understand me and go away, don’t weep.
I am not meant to love anyone now, I don’t deserve it.
‘Cause the sins that impure me are countless.
She has now turned back, walking away.
Yes, I want her to leave me deserted.
My head hurts, I wake up, tears are all over my face.
I’ve made a tough decision, I let her go.
She will be happy alone or with someone else.
And I don’t want to fall in love, that is my fate.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Was I born in a cage? If not then why am I in this unpleasant state? Why am I stuck here inside these thin metal bars? Don't my soul have an essence? I can breathe freely but still it feels like I am suffocating, I am starving. Why is it so?
There are humans moving all around here and there but they just don't care. I have heard that they are the most superior animals in the world. They have many capabilities that we don't possess. If that is true, then why do they ignore me? They just look at me and go away. They only see the beauty that lies on my outer part. They never try to penetrate in and look at my soul. They never look deep in my eyes. They never look at my sorrow, my struggle for freedom. Nature sent me here as a free being. Birds are the symbol of freedom. Then why am I here in a cage?
In another cage, there are two rabbits which are white in colour. They are very good and beautiful but they ended up in this cage which is similar to mine but larger. They said me once their story of how did the man( who has kept us in this dreadful cage) caught them and stubbed them inside this lifeless and haunting cage. Their children lay there yelling at them to come back, but it was all in vain. I wonder whether they survived without their mother and father or not.
I felt so bad but I could not help for all I am but a mere bird who is weak, fragile. I can not harm a small creature, how can I break a cage and set them free? I am so impotent that I can just move around this unbreakable cage. Why am I so weak?
I can see a boy looking at me. He is some few feet away. He has eyes of a faint colour. Faint brown eyes, I am now sure of it. He is looking at me. Wait! Is he looking at my eyes? Yes, he is. I cannot budge my eyes from him. It is as if he is not looking at my eyes; it seems he is looking in me, inside my eyes. Yes, yes, he is. I am delighted that at least someone is there who at least (I think; I am not sure) can see a bit of my suffering. He seems to have been driven by a spell. I am too in a kind of spell, I can't look off him. Is mother nature trying to connect us? If yes, then please, my creator, tell that boy to come and take me away from this heartless man, the other cruel humans, away from my sorrows.
I am now rolling inside the cage, beating my limbs against the metal. Now I am striking my beak against the gaps of the cage. I want to show him that I want to be free. I want freedom. I want to fly! I want to show him my flaws, show him that the only thing that can turn me sane is freedom. I want to live. I am dying here.
What? Wait, wait! Please don't go. No, oh my creator, oh my mentor, my god, please tell him to take me away. Tell him to come to me and give me freedom.
But, to my worse, he is just walking away. Was it just an imagination, or he really looked in me? Did he really see how mad I am to come out? Did he really notice my lamentations? No, he didn't. Otherwise why would he ignore and walk away? I have realised now. All humans are cruel. They are evil. No one has a soft heart. This boy has increased my lamentation. He just has made me more mad for freedom. I want to die, I want my heart to stop beating right now! But I can't. I beg you my lord, kill me! Or just do one thing. Never make me a human being in my next life. Rather, make me a fragile creature which can never be caged or which has a short, very short life span.
For all I want to be is independent, I want to smell every part of mother nature: trees, leaves, shrubs, flowers, sand, clay and most of all, freedom. I want to smell freedom, for all I wish, I wish to fly!
I was standing on the road when I saw this bird which was caged. A man was selling it. It was a parrot, I guess. I just stared at it for almost 5 minutes. It did never look at me but I could imagine its lust for freedom. It was rolling inside the cage, taking rounds and the cage was shivering. It seemed that even the lifeless cage wanted to break apart so that it could let the bird attain freedom. I felt very bad looking at the bird. But, honestly, I didn't have a penny at that time to buy that bird and set it free. It would have felt so good to see that bird flying. Why would bird have wings for? They are born to fly, But, sometimes, I think that even if I had money that time, would I have bought that bird and set it free? Maybe not. So, I realised that somewhere inside me, even I am equally selfish like other humans. I cannot change the world myself. I feel low thinking about the bird and I will never forget it. Its lust. And, I promise, the next time I see a bird struggling in a cage, I will try my best to get it out of there. 'Cause I would like to be the ranger who help others, and helping animals will be equally good as helping humans. I am just waiting for the next chance. :)